Don't Worry!

Bad day? Listen to this!

check!

The day we quit our jobs and start despairing about not checking off any more bingo squares it happens: a young man comes through the line and starts questioning us about how long we're in town and, well, what time to we get off work? And then proceeded to ask one of us for our phone number (which of course this half of the team didn't have and had to give their other half's phone number instead). Let's just say that the date involved beers and talk of dreams of being a cowboy or a racecar driver and then proceeded onward to a ride through the country side in a souped up truck with no doors and no roof blaring Hank Williams. We'll leave it at that.
Now, on our last two days of work, we just need identical twin frat boys from California to come through the line, wearing snuggles t-shirts, sporting snuggles tattoos, and buying, of course, identical copies of the adorable gorilla, talking about Megan Fox's sweet leg hair. Then we'd be all set!
-ryderdye

Andy and his slide

So it's begun already to some of the members of team endless bummer (formerly team black socks). While deep in slumber at our home (motel) the thoughts of work began milling around in our subconscious.
However, not just a dream of the droll work day. It went a little like this:
It was the beginning of poster tour training, but instead of being sent to good ole East Strouds-bee, we were all shipped to an unspecified warehouse in rural Missouri. All the administration seemed to be absent, save for our only two bosses. Our bosses of course being Andy Warhol and Cindy. Andy was the eccentric, sprightly, young lad he was in his hey-day, and Cindy was Cindy. The dream did not really center around actual poster training. Instead it was a rigorous hustle led by Andy hurrying us all up and down a slide and set of stairs with duct taped cardboad doors at bottom and top of said slide. Never have I seen someone so excited about sliding. He was hoopin' and hollerin' the whole time. Think an anemic gay football coach leading his team through drills. During all the "training" larger than feasibly possible cargo airplanes were landing all around the warehouse to drop off the poster goods. I assume that the actual poster training was there but lost somewhere in the mad shuffle of sliding and aeronautics, because when I woke up I knew how to sell posters.
hope all you others wall the beyonders are doing well and keeping your jobs out of your dreams.

Gusty

Today at our twelve hour outdoor sale it was like this:

WIND (MPH)                                                           
   HIGHEST WIND SPEED    33   HIGHEST WIND DIRECTION    SW (210)      
   HIGHEST GUST SPEED    43   HIGHEST GUST DIRECTION    SW (230)      
   AVERAGE WIND SPEED    19.6 

We threw in the towel.

This is team Ryderdie signing off. for good.
A floater team will be here to relieve us soon, and then we both go back home. What a big breath of relief.
Keep on writing your adventures so we can read about 'em! And if you all decide to strike, we're still here to support you in any way we can!
Farewell!

new week, less hope

After the first day of the new week, how are folks feeling? Anyone feeling hope for making their money this week? I know it's early, but i think we are feeling pretty dismal about our chances, and are sick of convincing ourselves it could get better.  That's the deal with commission based pay, it creates a facade that we are in control of our pay and if we just worked harder it would be worth.  But we're sick of working harder and getting paid less than minimum wage. 
Who'se down for striking?  Who has nothing to loose, and who would risk what they might loose to stand in support? It's easier for the teams who arn't making any money to strike, because we have nothing left to loose - but for a strike to be successful we need the teams who are actually making the company money to join us.  We need enough teams that they couldn't find enough other teams to replace us. 
If there isn't enough folks to have an effective strike, the teams who would quit anyways could all quit on the same day as a giant "fuck you" and  feel some sense of solidarity with each other and vengeance against btw. (maybe with some collective statement that might make things better for future teams?)
Let's get a list of teams who are totally down and teams that would strike in solidarity.  talk more on the google document under the same login and password as this blog?

wedding bells?

Poster tour aint so bad! I almost got me a husband along the way! While loading at the end of the day I got two large fellers to help out. Turns out that they were prison gaurds going to some sort of prison guard academy. So I got to spend two hours with them learning about 3 diffrent ways to make shanks (melt your toothbrush and stick the razor blades smuggled from you shaving razor), various crowd control methods ( beanbag guns and pepper balls!) and aliens. Well, not aliens but one of  the dudes did work at area 51 or whatever the real name of the air base there is and would not answer directly when I asked if  aliens were really green ( I suspect they must be). When I tried to give them posters they flat out refused. The one dude said that he would gladly have accepted a date in repayment and that it was a pity that I was leaving that night. That was about an hour into loading with them.  During the course of the next hour officer friendly proceded to ask me if I would say yes is he did ask me out ( to which I dipolmatically answered um.... well... I won't say yes but I won't say no....) and told me he might come visit me at my next sale ( 4 hours away!). When he found out I lived  far away he said he would be willing to move! so, if there is a wedding you all are invited.

Puke. SheWolf

Payday

Has anyone else not been paid for the first full two weeks yet?

why is BTW so god damn white-centered?

Our new favorite customer:
him: "Do you have any sexy lady pictures?"
us: *shows him to book*
him: "um... no. not white girls and not clean-shaven girls"
us: "um... sorry. wish we could help."

your roots?

Team RyderDie here to report on some highlights.

Yesterday, one individual dropped $245 on posters/frames.   He wins the prize of biggest spender we've ever seen.  too bad it happened on a week when we had already given up on our projections... How much have y'alls big poppahs been spending?

Today, one giant middle aged white dude- the kind whose neck is bigger than their shaved head - bought a wu tang poster in order to get back to his roots. Upon further questioning, the only answer i got was "you know, where i came from, my roots..."  say what?? have you looked at yr skin color today??

Poster Celebrity tour.

When team wild Dick realized that their poster sale was in the town where Orson Scott Card lived half of them freaked out. The other half said, "Who?"
But, they agreed that the two of them needed to go to his house so the first could be a creep. The first one wrote a piece of fan mail, and looked him up on the internet and wrote down directions from the sale. It was a 15 minute drive and the sun was falling out of the sky as we came into a clearly well off residential area full of big yards and stone paths. The middle aged white families were out walking their dogs as we pulled up to the house in our poster truck. "Is this it?" we said. "This is it," we said.
Half of us had butterflies. That's the half that grabbed the fan mail, stepped out onto the brick path and under the lattice archway to the front door--heart pounding.
That half rang the doorbell. And waited.
No sound came from the residence, and eventually that half dropped the note between the screen and main door, and shakily returned to the truck. "Wasn't there?"
We shook our head. When we got back out on the highway that half smiled so his face nearly lopped its self in half. I can't believe it.
We laughed.

highlights

has anyone else high point of the day been a 7-11 quarter pound hot dog?

Question: What Will Make Kids Stop Looking at Posters?

Choose your answer carefully:

A:  When it's monsoon season and it starts to rain like a motherfucker and you're scrambling to get all your stuff inside the tent by throwing books around and moving tables? (cos the ten tables BTW gracefully rented for you don't really fit inside the small ass tent they rented for you.  Oh yeah, they also gave us no chairs for our twelve hour sales)

A.2:  When you're soaking wet and your tent is leaking and crap is strewn everywhere and your sale is in complete disarray because of aforementioned rain and any rational person would realize that maybe now is not the time to be asking stupid questions about where the Pearl Jam poster is?

B:  When the posters are under a tarp?

C:  When you're closing and going down the line putting books on a cart, slowly approaching the obstinate straggler at the end who is apparently oblivious to the fact that the goddamn sale is ending?  Alternately, when you leave a cart of books ready to be loaded unattended for more than thirty seconds?

D: When you're stocking and you have a stack of posters on the book next to you, clearly signaling that things are being done with these posters?

E:  When it is so dark that kids have to use their cellphones to illuminate the posters?  (dark, because the sale was scheduled til eight and you've had no time to get lights or anything.  an added bonus is breaking a sale down in the dark)

F:  When you say "Hey yall, we're closing soon, but we'll be here for the next eight days."

G: NONE OF THE ABOVE

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news, we checked off a few squares:
-Stopped by DOT.  Had to buy some permit.  Pretty uneventful really, why the fuck do we have to pretend we're real truckers?
-Bros buying Snuggles x2
-Someone bought all the fucking Office posters!  What the hell?!
-"This is gonna look great in my bathroom!"  (Rubber ducky poster)
-(Not a  square but it's funny).  White boy buying every black powerish thing we have plus a hot babe poster.

Kicked it with a Cambodian trucker at our motel, he was pretty cool.  Gave us the downlow on all the logbook scams that every trucker does.  Told us in veiled terms about his sketchy life growing up.  Chatted about Cambodia for a minute; he was a kid there in the 70's, which is fucking intense.

In closing, another question:  What the fuck is the deal with Bob Marley???  Do people actually listen to him and think he's cool or whatever or is it just some "college, weed, yeah bro thing."  This is my third year and I still do not understand it at all. 

This is really long, sorry, I'm feeling the insanity coming on....

keep it real everybody,
Devils on the Fucking Loose

Get Your Balls Wet.

With Love From Funny Monkey.

purble place anybody?

anyone else playing purble place? we just mastered the comfy cake station game thanks to a completely dead sale. we've retreated back to being 6 years old. the sad thing is that it took us several tries to figure out why we weren't baking correct cakes :(

Jobs

Team wild Dick. Take that damn money.

shipping 101

so, for some reason BTW thought it was so important to ship us a box of 2, just 2 "the scream" magnets. guess this was a crucial thing, that we really needed 2 -- not the fact that we've been outta sticky tack for 4 days and are low on all magnets. most of the poster restock we've gotten doesn't apply to what we've sold. - team wild dick

JUST REAL FAST

Team Dangerous Pidgeons says:

FUCK ALL THE FRAME AND COMPUTER BOXES!

exploiting facebook?

has anyone used facebook as an advertising tool? I'm trying to figure out what would be the best way of going about it. Should I make an account for Beyond the Wall or for Poster Sale or something? And then make separate event pages under that account for each school that we go to? I'm kind of facebook illiterate but it seems SO much easier than fliering and chalking, and if I can figure out who to invite to the event, then it'll probably be even more effective. Ideas?

emergency bingo boards

So we were thinking...
it sounds like some folks are pretty hesitant about a full fledged strike, as other folks have more hope than I do about being able to possibly reach projections and make money.  What about an organized Slow Down strike?  We don't make any money until we reach the absurd numbers they have given us, but they are still making money as long as we are selling posters.  As individual teams, it makes sense for us to slow down and have fun on those weeks.  If we arn't making any money why work any more!  Instead, we could be eating well and going to bed early, or finding hot tubs, or going into the woods, or finding dance parties in random cities... or go on dates with all the strangers who are asking you out...

The next step is somehow organizing those weeks in some sort of collective statement.  "We won't work hard until you make it worth it."  Therefore we arn't risking loosing any more, because we arn't making money those weeks anyway... but our lovely friends at the Home Office arn't making any money either.  Maybe they would listen to us if they were loosing that much money in an organized fashion.

discuss.

this just in...

another first just occurred. i never thought i would see this combination let alone each individual transaction, but some north face-clad girl just bought a 3-d lenticular print (b-marley, obvs) with 'the end of an era' $32 beatles poster, totaling in at $60.08. ohhh college.

brainstorming sidewalk chalk ideas.

team vegenaise here having fun on our first day using the sidewalk chalk. we came up with a few good ones we liked. "poster sale @ blahblahblah. cause where else are you going to spend all of daddy's money?" or, "poster sale. a better way to pretend you don't live in the dorms." i dunno. lately our current method has been trying to heckle people into buying posters. anybody got any good ones?

ATTN: TEAM RYDE-ER-DYE

hey its team wild dick -- please check the gmail account asap (wall the beyond) for a message!!

BAM.

(done without help) wut wut.

- Team Frame it Yourself

smart audio?

did anyone else disable their speaker/microphone thing and get a message about some program called 'smart audio'? i didn't do poster tour 'cause i'm good at computers so that little message that popped up freaked us out! WAS THIS DIRTY SPY INVASION RUMOR TRUE?!

let's band together!

kangaroos

Team Räwk▲Läwßzter here, with apologies for our silence. The funny thing about working so many hours for under minimum wage is that you lose track of the days.

In lieu of the lunatic asylum museum, which was out of our way, we attended the missouri state fair, which was thematically comparable. The mood was superbly captured by this sign:

…and this, a grown man boxing a kangaroo. I shit you not.

We also went to Knob Noster, and thought, hey, Rock Lobster in Knob Noster. Ha! It was pretty.

But this feels like nostlagia at this point, as we surrender our moments to our five day, fraction-of-the-projection sale. We’ve learned two new games- ‘flying your display boards like kites’, and ‘how long can you keep your truck parked in the fire lane?’ (two days, apparently).

I dig for some anecdotal comic relief but have a memory of only long, hot days, uninterrupted by those “college kids say the darndest things” moments. Instead of making me laugh, they assemble, pant, and retreat, leaving the poster books mangled. As if “footprints with the lord” and “jack johnson” so resembled a fresh kill they had to spend a few minutes chewing on them just to be convinced that they are indeed merely posters.

Here at the america’s best value inn, I’ll be looking for employment opportunities. The staff always seems relaxed and, without a doubt, the pay and the hours are better. But wait, what did I hear about a strike?

Fuck yeah.

Get your balls wet.

-Juice of team Räwk▲Läwßzter.

big on jesus

team raw moms just made what could have turned into a most serious party foul- after feverishly unloading into our super awesome lockable room [diligently] the night before our next sale, exhausted we hopped into our [so far] faithful truck (whom we've endearingly named 'boris). as we sped down the completely unlit country roads to our hotel that was a solid 25 minutes away from our sale, we were listening to a scary book on tape to really set the mood. the author was detailing the characters' luggage which made me think of our own luggage........which was sitting on the curb outside of the building where our sale will be tomorrow. YIKES! (we took them out first to get them outta the way) thankfully, and i mean THANKGODFULLY when we got back to the campus our luggage was still sitting on the curb. wheww, we narrowly escaped impending disaster with that one.

other than that, when i looked up information on the city that our sale was taking place in, the very first (and only) thing that came up is that it is proudly the birthplace of the republican party. as part of our hotel's  guest manual, there is an entire section dedicated to local church locations. suffice to say, we're a little out of our element. thank fuck its a short sale.

while we were simultaneously unloading and sweating profusely, one of the dining hall employees (who seemed maybe a little slow) asked us if we carried a poster of the rapper 'gucci' who neither me nor my partner had heard of. after mistaking a box of magnets and postcards for hackey sacks (sp?) she asked us if she could sell her homemade jewelry line at our sale. hmmm...

another funny/aggravating thing that has happened was at the end of our last sale. we had been at the school for a while and made some friends and began recognizing faces. there was one girl who had shown up every day of our 5 day sale and bought copious amounts of posters on each occasion. sometimes she would show up more than once a day, but surprisingly never inquired about our student helper signs. on one of these occasions she debated for ~10 minutes on whether or not she should purchase two packs of poster tack or just one. in fact she was so perplexed and indecisive that she called her mother via cell phone to ask her mother's opinion (momentarily holding up the short line that had developed). fret not BTW, she indeed ended up with two packs of tacks and 4 posters, just in that round alone. at around 6:55 pm on the last day of our sale, we were getting things ready to begin loading all of our wares into Boris when said girl showed up offering her help for these free posters we had advertised. not only did she manage to be completely useless and absolutely annoying, but after our other student helpers had loaded every last thing into the truck, she said "so should i pick out my poster now??" WHATTT ::vein above eye pulsates:: my partner was more apt to deal with this situation than i, so they went out to the truck where she was offered any poster that was easily accessible. this girl then persisted about needing a specific poster (palm tree/beach-scape) until she managed to frustrate my partner into moving shit around to get this poster. yeeeesh.

tomorrow we hope to make our projection because the number seems somewhat reasonable, but this entire city has a population of 6,000 and the school has a population smaller than our projection number. for now, were going to fall asleep to the soft hum of ghost hunters on the tube and bask in the wonder of having gained an hour by crossing into the central time zone.

hoohah hoorah!
-RM

Poster Job gets Sexy? Only in my head

Ragin Rae on the loose here!

I've overheard some funny responses to sex posters that make me chuckle.

Guy and girl looking at the astrological sex position poster:
"WHHHHHAAATTTTT...this poster match sex positions with yo sign. Wow. Scorpio go hard."
girl: "So do Aries."
"I don't know bout that.......oh................yeah...............Aries go hard. Aries go reallllllll hard."

Random quotes from sorority girls looking at the periodic table of sex positions:
"OMG! Iwanthis!!"
"What's going on there?" "duh. 69"
"Ewwwww...that's so grosss"
"I've done that one."

Also, saw a guy say hi to a girl who looked at him with a blank face, walked away, then turned to her friend and mouthed "i think i fucked him last night"

Also, we just got the Jonas Bros poster and Team RaeRay sat lookin at it for 20 minutes oggling over their hot teen velocity.
Reminds me of the huge crush I developed at training.
I will only say this: they are nicknamed "Easy On The Eyes"
Thanks for getting me through the night EOTE.

umm what?

it took me five minutes to explain to a girl what a thumb tack was today. she asked me how to hang her framed poster, i told her to use a tack.this is how it went...
me: oh you can just use a nail or a tack
girl: i don't know what a tack is
me: you don't know what a thumb tack is?
girl: no
after a couple of minutes of explaining what a thumb tack was  she finally realized..."oh are those those thing with the sharp part at the end and the colorful plastic on the other end?"
yes.

seriously??she was wearing a sorority shirt and asked me for a pink poster....or any poster that had pink on it. ugh.

Malcom X's best album yet?

Hey fellow poster gods, team Sit Under Wolf Pack here. We are proud to report that we are knee deep in Bingo and are keeping a sharp eye out for all of those highly coveted squares. We X'ed out the easy ones early on (meeting up with another team, a non-ironic mullet, etc.) but are now delving into the more sacred boxes. Yesterday we hit three in a row... Firstly, a smooth talking undergrad came in searching for one of our more gaudy Marilyn Monroe posters, only to pull down his t-shirt and reveal the EXACT image on his left pectoral. And then, he one upped himself by showing that her famous mole was depicted on his tattoo with an implanted pink rhinestone! He gets double points for that one. Next came a set of identical twins, and then a set of fraternal twins, and then a whole gaggle of tanned and giggling girls who could have been twins, but also could have just been duplicates (it is hard to say). The day ended with a Led Zepplin lover buying the aeroplane print that was also silk screened onto his t-shirt, making three X's for the day.
Our "wild card" square is currently reserved for our very favorite customer yet. She came in and bought a Lil' Wayne poster (no surprise there), the hip-hop tree print (with the expertly photo-shopped  color gradient), a Malcom X poster, and the "fish without a bicycle". When my teammate commented on her eclectic taste she responded (and this is verbatim), "Well, I figured since I bought three black rapper posters, I should get a fourth poster that is a little more white and feminine". Yes. Verbatim. And though I have to agree that Malcom X would have cut a mean hip-hop album, I would venture to call the fish poster a bit more feminist than feminine. But I guess that is what college is for... to teach one these subtle differences.
In any case, we hope you all are well and happy. Signing out!

Where did all the fun posts go?

I know there's some serious business under foot, but I still want to hear everyone's stories about their days.
team Ryde-r-dye has gotten lazy as fuck these past few days, once we decided to fuck our projections for the week. We've been sleeping in (kind of), working 10-5, taking ample breaks for snacks, phone calls, reading books, and going on walks, then sneaking into the cafeteria or cooking dinner with friends, and watching bad netflix movies (finally saw Battle in Seattle. Wow.) Last night our friend who works for a catering company catered a late night fancy dinner party.
We've been consistently coming in at 1/3 of our numbers (only because we stopped trying entirely) (prior to that it was probably 2/3). My internal work ethic is rebelling agaist the slack-assing that has been occuring within the walls of our sale and I keep finding myself compulsively restocking our books, even though our business is slim because we've failed to do any advertising. Damn my upbringing.
what have you all been doing?

maybe to long of a well winded rant.

so really let us start off by giving beyond the wall an outstanding ovation. please, please everyone together now, hurray!!! 

the reason behind the applause and where i'd like this story to start... Beyond The Wall has given Team Pillow Fight the opportunity to attend a wonderful school where douche-baggery has abandoned the gender dichotomy the dude-bros so aggressively put into place and spread it though out all sexes and transitions, the kid i've been calling "The Michael Jordan Delux", the "J-lux" for short whom bought a singular michael jordan poster but was wearing a Michael Jordan shirt, shorts, socks, sandals, funny little backpack, and a visor. Let me repeat ALL SPORTING MICHAEL JORDAN in some area of the said article. Then my teammate whom i shall refer to as Tails, went thru this conversation:

DB: How much for these posters?

T: (looks them up and says whatever price they were)

DB: And how much for your number?

T: Umm, well that isn't for sale.

Which i think is a mostly standard version of that conversation but i was going to leave it up to the comments page for the best ways to respond to the "can i have your number" question. for starters you could say, i don't receive incoming calls, i only have a pager, i'm in love and we never fight, because of my outstanding circumstances i don't have time to eat, sleep, party, relieving myself via random hook-ups with stupid ass college students that i think are likely younger than my little brother. but moving forward, the hardcore kid that wouldn't shut up about nothing and shamelessly plugging his friends online jewelry  store for hardcore kids called plugyourholes.com which i haven't been to cause a few years ago i was set back on my trust meter when someone showed me two girls one cup. fake or not i listened to the cutest girl i know scream for minutes in the kitchen covering her mouth. but if anyone wants to risk going there feel free cause i'm curious but fuck trusting kids at a college, really for anything. any one ask for directions? that's a fun game. 

what else has beyond the wall given to us, ah yes, the lunatic asylum (they showed Tails the morgue!) where we got to meet up with Team Wolfcry, whom were creating a paperwork scene that looked mostly like what would happen if El Nino were to team up with a handful of pokemon and fight Eminem and Ken Shamrock in a game call "Let's Throw Paper" in their room. But ups on the stereo system, tell me when Van Halen is coming to town. I swear they have the set up to accommodate for that. and yes to keep theme to this post we can call me Sonic, so it's true that Tails accosted me with both hands and a mouth full of spewing words through the door, down the hall, stairs, hotel, parking lot and into the Ryder truck. Thanks Chip for providing a temporary sanctuary, it is now tainted.

anyhow, here is something completely surprising. today we reach projection and ten percent, fucking got us. but let's just hold back a second for victory and analyze what really happened. today sounded awful and held nothing back in getting that to us. the only good part was the sale started at 11a.m. kind of nice. but here's where the bowl of wet dicks came as the appetizer for us. who has had the sale where you set everything up where the  sponsor says to just to have to move it all again? well we had half of that but with a side of raging rivers water park. the tents we were using cause, oh yeah, it's an outside sale had filled themselves with water from the previous night and needed to be emptied cause they were a safety hazard. so we had to do a double load truck move bullshit for like twenty feet so that the water could be pushed out the top and make the ground wet. so we move and then Sonic has to help push the tops of these tents with a giant metal stick and i use stick cause it was the farthest thing from a pole i've ever put my hands on. and as the group of us, in the middle of the sale, start pushing underneath the tent to release all the glory that came down last night stupid fucking college kids just walk underneath like sticks and ladders aren't a fucking clues as to what is about to happen. and fuck if i'm going to warn them but their friends sure will. DAMNIT. so we push the water and that is that. move all the tables back under the tent and commence with the sale.  but then like all sales that are going to be more fortunate than failures you never know they are coming, so why would we have enough change to proceed without any impedance, that's right cause we didn't, fools. and why would the school have a place to get change or why would anyone who works at the school know where in the school to get change or why didn't someone just say so so that i didn't go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth and then to the back not even two blocks away. thank you part time security guard sleeping in the lawn chair instead of watching the, the, whatever the fuck you were supposed to be watching. next up on our list, rain, why not. but only long enough to make us move completely cramped under the tent and disappear for the rest of the day. thank the fuck you. and then the power supply after four hours of being the raging beast we know them to be, didn't just threaten to quit but with a towering beeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppp stopped being friends, didn't burn the bridge but set off more explosives than all the Rambo movies together and went to bed. fuck that. especially since right after that we found not one, not two, but three outlets that were in our range of use. moving forward simply, student helpers = three forks at a dinner placemat = fucking useless. and then the heat wouldn't let up. and kicked out ass all day, all day, and all day. then it was time to pack up and go to hometel. today was great. i would keep on keeping on but i'm going to poison myself into sleep and hopefully wake up tomorrow and do it all again. 

but the part where Beyond The Wall really took the time and warmth in their hearts to show us they cared, they hooked us up with a Days Inn that is right next door to a Red Roof Inn. 15 miles from the school with a hotel next door. Thanks for the supreme upgrade. goodnight and goodluck. 

Percentages

Can you guys all figure out what percentage under your projections you are on average? So if they say thay can't show us the numbers from last year due to confidentiality we can give them a number we want them to reduce it by.

Be careful about what you say and do in front of your computer!

There has been speculation that the microphone and camera are enabled in order to spy on us! We know they COULD do it if they wanted, but we don't know if they are.
BEWARE! THE MICHELLE (might be) IS WATCHING!

comission

I am going to use it to fly back to Stroudsberg and spit in some key individuals faces. Sorry if that offends anyone.

Well, let's the ball rolling...

Not all the teams are on this blog. I was thinking we could use the voicemail to get the word out about the posible strike. We can't  send a general message because they could delete that, but if we volunteered to pass on the message to specic team number (in other words, i'll call teams1-5, you call 6-10 etc) then the would have to go through each mailbox individually. Right? If we all boycotted our next sale, what would our demands be? What percentage would we want the projections dropped? Could we get Michelle fired (only half serious about that one)?

everyone make a funny face!

From all of us basement dwellers in north cakalak!

Today we nefariously nestled snuggles amongst kesha and jessica alba, hoping that dudes might be tempted into irony. We'll see if it works.

Yesterday we sent a frustrated email to the boss ladies threatening to quit if our projections weren't lowered, and they called us immediately, trying to bribe us into staying. But seriously, this shit is bunk. $10,000 in a day? When at our biggest rush times we can only pump out $1200 an hour? (in case the math isn't obvious, that means a 10 hour rush...) (oh, and did I mention that we're not even on campus? That we're in a basement under the post office where no one can find us...) They responded by putting us on a promotion. We still only made half of our numbers for the day.  However, y'alls internet voices spoke to us all day.  "At least we latched the back of the truck!"  "at least it's not a $40 day!"  None the less, we decided to say "fuck it" to this week and stop trying to grab at the carrot dangling from the stick. We appropriated some zombie playing cards for entertainment.
We locked our keys in the truck day before yesterday, and, thus, out of the sale (whoops), so we took ourselves out to sunday brunch while we waited for the Ryder guy to come (who was bummed when we didn't have the marx brothers poster he wanted). On the brighter side, we have a bunch of buddies in town who bring us bubble tea and give us shoulders to cry on.  We also met two folks on the street corner who are now our new friends and stop by the sale to bring us snacks. Check!


So, is anyone making their 10%? I mean, could we all go on strike and demand a curve (like in high school when the test is so hard that even the A students get Cs)?  That'd be pretty powerful if we all refused to work for a day. what do y'all think?

people will go ape shit at the prospect of a free poster

team raw moms checking in for the first time. first i would like to thank beyond the wall for allowing us to train with another team for one entire day before departing on our own for a pretty decent sized sale. we're in our last day of this 5 day sale, consistently coming in a grand below our projections. woop woop.

we've had the opportunity to cross off several bingo boxes over these past weeks:

- met and sold to identical twins on our first day (one was gothix and the other became upset bc she thought i got fingerprints on her 'dave' photo, which she then decided should be framed to prevent any further damage)
- we've had several people buy posters of the shirts they are wearing (mostly beatles and p-floyd)
- buying a whole series -- a chick bought all of the corpse bride matted prints we had in stock (this same girl was extremely disappointed that we didn't have a 'kat von d' poster)
- our super 8 is extremely luxurious and has an indoor swimming pool, where we swam with a sick hillbilly who inevitably had a sick mullet (double points !! because it was for real, not ironic) he also had an enormous beer gut and flame images on his bathing suit
- SO many out of place californians - apparently dudebros from the upper midwest love wavy bleached blonde hair and long boards
- a frat boy bought and framed snuggles the monkey - he said he couldn't wait to hang it over his bed because it was so cute
- i had some girl ask me if i thought the swimming elephant poster would look good in her bathroom and another girl asked my partner if it would be creepy and uncomfortable if she put marilyn lifting weights in her bedroom (what?)

other than that, we are surprised to report that we have had to turn kids away from student helping because too many people show up and want to help. these free poster offers really wet people's willies. we do have one MVP student helper who we feel is worthy of note- his name is martin and he shows up either at 7:55 am to help unload or 6:40 pm to help pack up. he insists on taking no more than 2 free posters a day and does not like it when any other helpers show up because he likes to take care of everything on his own. sometimes he arrives to the sale before we do and shakes his head at us because he know we're late bc we stopped to get coffee. one evening we asked him if he would like a coffee in the morning (thinking it would be a nice gesture) he curtly replied 'no', explaining that coffee has caffeine and caffeine makes you crash and he can't afford to crash.

we found the most perfect college kid pandora radio station --> red hot chili peppers! it plays all the hits. every time we think we can't take it anymore and are about to change the station, we see another 3 customers singing along and then we get complimented on our tunes. guhh.

last night we made a punkrock gin bucket with the super 8 ice bucket, mountain dew, and $8 gin. we're paying for that today.

sorry for the lack of war stories but apparently things are going relatively smoothly for team raw moms. KNOCK ON WOOD.

keep on keepin' on fellow poster tourians!
-RM

a friendly tip from team rainbow horsies.

for those of you who haven't figured it out, you can easily get to the start menu (while keeping the pos open) by pressing Ctrl+Esc (or the windows button) from which you can open up internet explorer, or solitaire, or whatever else creams your twinkie. so it's not so much that you can't use the internet on these computers, it's just that they don't want you to. power to the people.

Can I get a discount?

Team wolf cry had a great interaction today:

She wolf: Sorry I'm wasting your time.

dude: Its ok, I'm in college.

Made in the USA (by chineese children)

The pattern doesn't line up! Check your taps, it's the same. I have no idea how this passed the incredible QC at BTW. Good thing we took extra boxes of shower curtains to make up the loss. We've donated them to the hotels in exchange for an extra "Froot Loops" single serv in the continental breakfast. LIFE IS GOOD(sic).

working and drinking hard on tour

you know those things at theme parks and the beach that you stick your head in? well, "get your balls wet" is just like that! i can't believe how i've changed during tour, all of this drinking and lifting heavy things. i hope my hott new body sells more posters!

Q: why do people buy this poster?
A: because we sell it!

- team wild dick

Whoopsies.

After 3 days of making sales in the extreme heat, coupled with the intermittent 20 minute borderline hurricanes, we were finally ready to leave the university. After banging out  loading the tuck with some poor sucker, we were ready to go. Although, with all respect for my partner, this whole situation was my fault.
I have to hand it to Darryl and the gang (Darryl roolz and is obviously the leader) for providing us with a foolproof presentation on the finer points of driving and life, they failed to provide the skills of latching truck doors. I mean, I obviously understand not pinning someone under my truck, but apparently I don't understand how to fit a hook into an appropriately sized hole. That being said, yes, I fucked up big time.
We left the college and somewhere along the way, the door came open. Thing is, we....er, I didn't know that the door of the truck was open for the last 8 miles of driving. That means 8 miles in a metropolitan area with people passing until someone had the decency to let us know that the door was open. Fuck.
I ripped into a  gas station parking lot to check what we lost. Only one cart. Phew. Wait, What? I lost the last loaded fucking cart! Fuck! Oh no! If beyond the wall is charging us for stolen items at face value, what are they going to charge me for what I lost out of "negligence"? Luckily, Working at various other shitty jobs that involve packing trucks, none of the other "precious" cargo was lost. But FUCK! What if it hit the car behind me? What if some mafioso, for once, actually scored some goods that fell off a truck? What if the cops are there, and see that I have not once filled out that book that we are supposed to write down fake hours in? Will I go to Jail? Yes. Will I get Fired? Check. Will I be pushed further into debt for more bullshit that has done nothing for me? Oh you bet.
I fucked myself for a company ran by horrible human beings. Does this make me a horrible human being? This, and an eternity of other mind fucking questions were what was running through my head as we drove back towards the school, scanning the roads for our lost swag. Block after block yielded nothing. Does that pulled over truck have my bullshit? Naw, they're clean. Is that car swerving to miss a pile of boxes? Naw, probably just drunk. Then where is it?
Oh, there it is, off of the cart, still partially covered by the tarp covering it when I wheeled it onto the truck. No way. No fucking way. But what about the shit not covered by the tarp? Oh, tappies and playing cards, all shrink wrapped. What about the Box of backups that are wet? Oh yeah, fuck my employers and scan them as damaged. What about the cart, is it broken? Nope, still rollin. Now comes the championship fist in the air, click of the heels, throw the shit in the truck, and get. the. fuck. out.

Team BA marking off four blocks after this weekend.

Team Blunted Assassins finally having time to check in after one random weekend.

First solo sale of the tour had no Bob Marley sales, we almost had no sales at all.  Calling in a whopping $40 dollar day.  To quote Michelle, "WHAT WHAT WHAT?"  Probably the lowest sale of the year, if not BTW history.  Special thanks to the Georgian rains for sealing the deal on the most wasted day in the history of BTW.

Any team wishing to top that sale or go lower than you ever gone before; good luck to you.

The only thing that treated us right in Georgia was amazing vegan soul food in Atlanta.  The atmosphere was relaxed and everyone kept calling me brother.  We took a bunch of pictures with everyone, and left with warm hearts and full bellies. 

Team Blunted Assassins meet up with other unnamed team; right now they're "team forgetful pants" in Ashville, NC.  We spend the weekend in a cabin 20 minutes outside of Ashville.  It included a hot tub and appliances, so we actually got to cook food.

Ashville has a great radical cafe.  Team Forgetful Pants spent most of the time drinking and flirting with cute skinny boys (well so did I); to the point that they lost the receipt to the cabin, and we had to fake one using the construction paper, glitter glue, and double sided tape that BTW supplies.

We are not taking a point for being naked in the hot tub, because most of the night was spent nudey butt.  I do believe that someone gave me crabs from the cuddle puddle, but I am working on become a fourth level Ranger, so I can use Animal Empathy and ask them to stop burrowing into my flesh.

Last but not least, we did get stopped by Dot this morning.  Apparently, if you have long hair, a beard, and wear a skirt when you drive, Tennessee State Troppers will do a full inspection, including cavity search (upon request).  It really was quite foolish, especially when he asked me, "When was the last time you had a puff?"

I ate puffin's cereal that morning, but I found that information to be irrelevant.

Well, our second sale is in the morning, and we might actually have sales.  Good luck to the teams, and just keep thinking to yourself, "At least its not a forty dollar day."

Sincerely, Team Blunted Assassins

THE WILD DICK IS HERE

I know a lot of you have been worried about Team xWILD DICK DANx.   Every day our email box is full of messages from poster teams around the country begging us, pleading with us, to let them know that we are still alive.  We are still alive.  In fact, we have grown even more powerful.  For instance, yesterday J was able to make a college student spontaneously combust just by looking at him after he tried to return a perfectly fine get your balls wet poster.
Anyways, there are many exciting stories to tell.  Stories of adventure, feats of strength and amazing tales of nakedness.

Here is a list of just a few of the highs and lows of the adventures of Team xWILD DICK DANx


Highs:

1. Vegan dumpster heaven.
In the dead of night five hooded figures(we weren't really hooded) stole across the parking lot of a certain vegan bakery.  There, in the dumpster, we found bag upon bag of donuts, cream pies and sticky buns.  We gorged ourselves then and there until we could take no more.

2. Hot Tub/ fancy drink party. (see fig 1 and 2)

 3. All you can eat!? (see fig 3
Sutao Cafe (all you can eat vegan chinese buffet).  The wild dicks teamed up with other power house poster team for this eat till you explode extravaganza.  I remarked several times that I wish I could live in that beautiful restaurant forever, eating table scraps for free and getting in completely pointless conversations with our wonderful server Victoria.

4. Best Friends Day
Best Friends Day is an annual celebration that take place in Richmond, Virginia at a dirty run down water park. xWild Dick Danx arrived to find a scene straight out of a punk rock wet dream.  Naked rope swings.  Water trampolines. barefoot swimsuit mosh pits.  BF Day had it all.  I don't know if the water was green before 3,000 crusties entered the pools, taking their first bath of the year, but by the end of the day the water was a terrifying shade of emerald. Also, people doing it.... in the water....gross! But also hilarious.


It's hard to believe that Team xWDDx would ever come down from their high on life, but we did.  Here is a short list of shitty things that have happened to us.

1. Terminal Preppies
 On the second day of our first sale a huge monsoon hit causing us to lose all hopes of making our numbers for the day.  To add insult to injury, we were kicked out of our sale site by university big wigs who thought we would disrupt the donor banquet taking place down the hall.  The next day, we were moved to an extremely tiny classroom which was to be our rain location.  I'm sure our bosses will understand why our numbers are so low right?

2. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!!!

While driving to our next sale Team xWDDx heard a terrifyingly shitty sound, our tire blowing up.  It took 3 1/2 hours for the mechanics to finally show and for us to get back on the road.  Secondly, a large black truck merged into the same lane as our truck just and hour after getting our flat fixed.  We scratched up his hood a bit and loosened up one of his head lights.  The guy was understanding enough and just told us to be more careful next time.


Rest assured, Team xWDDx plans on continuing down our shared path to riches and wonders. Keep the faith fellow poster demons.
TAKE THE MONEY

TEAM xWILD DICK DANx

We all must a little crazy...

Do we get a bonus for crossing off a square twice? Today we had our second random encounter with another team. This one was at historic insane asylum that does daily tours. We saw a box truck in the parking lot and after a little spying in the windows realized it was indeed another team. After we took our historic tour we met up with team, shall we call them buzzkill, who had gone through the paranormal tour the hour before us! We sat on the grass swapping strories and invited them to come have dinner at our hotel with us. Upon on arrival they hung out for about ten minutes then excused themselves, or rather one team mate pushed the other out the door while he was trying to finally drive home his latest point in their nonstop bickering war, hence the name team buzzkill. It was nice to see you guys! good luck.

Know anyone who's lookin for a stereo?

The people you meet out on the road are so nice.  The other day team wolf cry meet this fellow in a parking lot (the same one were we saw another guys dick.)  It wasn't two minutes into out conversation when the inevitable happened, he asked if we knew anyone looking for a stereo.  Apparently it still works good.  He is recently engage to a woman who live a few states away, and in fact it was her mother who told them they are getting married.  This wonderful woman extended her maternal instincts and told our new friend (who's name we don't know)  he "might as well make it official" and send his new fiance a ring; so he did.  Also he showed us the bike he designed.  His buddy welded it for him.  True blue American he remarked about his grand vessel.  Meet our new friend:

 

Also, look at that box truck in the back!  Jealous!!!

This air is making me feel high

Today, the Devils on the Loose climbed the 2nd highest sand dune in North America (alas, the tallest was a mile and a half away and we were too tired). 

It is 650 feet tall--which doesn't sound very high, but when its nothing but sand, that's pretty fucking tall.  The top of it is 8900 feet above sea level.

Tomorrow, we sell posters.

Keep keepin it real everybody.

its so damn hot out

hmm so, one week into poster tour and we have not had a solo sale or crossed off any squares. we have had the opportunity to swim in lake erie, watch a game at wrigley field, encounter seriously creepy hicks somewhere in missouri, put some illegal diesel fuel in our truck(err, only a little), eat some deliciously free st. louis ribs, accidentally use diaper ointment as toothpaste (don't ask) aand to top it all off while strapping our books together outside our hotel it started pouring rain in. Off to a good start, looking forward to unloading and loading the truck everyday next week in 100 plus degree weather!
-team beat the heat

bingo boardz?

hey all --

how do you go about getting a bingo board? thought i had one in my suitcase, but it's not there anymore! we want one!

- team wild dick

I am covered in mosquito bites.

Today we made it until 4:35pm without selling a single Bob Marley poster. We thought we were golden and I even drew a little comic about it that included my team mate smoking cigarettes in a non-smoking zone. And then, all of a sudden, Mr. Marley turned up in a stack of posters. We briefly considered trying to talk the lovely lady on the other side of the counter out of her purchase but decided against it. Poop.

Anyway, no squares for today and we also found out that our huge projection for tomorrow is based on the fact that it used to be a move-in day but everyone has already moved in. So, tomorrow we're stuck on a muddy mound next to the river, probably with little human contact. I guess we'll have to play sex position card games.

Speaking of sex position cards- did you know that they total out at $6.31? This means that if the purchaser gives you $7 you return their change of... 69 cents. Meow.

x Team Teenage Dream

Today team wolf cry saw a drunk Appalachian man with his dick out in a parking lot.  We stared at him and he stared at us until he realized what was going on.  He turned around but proceeded to yell at us in vernacular we couldnt understand.


Thats all.

Team Ragin' RayRae Ryder czechin in!

Team Ragin' RayRae Ryder's here.  Finally finding time to report after a week of one day sales.

Does leaving your books outside overnight count as a square? They were covered in tarps and barricaded by tables and the blue elephant cart. Crazy enough to work in all that rain.

Frat dudes buying snuggles?  First hour first sale.

We got rained out on Thursday and met identical twins the same day. I told them they looked alike. One seemed like they wanted to gouge my eyes out.

We also stopped by Greasy Creek to take a dip. We would've skinny dipped but a busload of mentally challenged children showed up on the rock we wanted to free ball jump from.

Biggest challenge yet:  getting half our laundry stolen straight from the hotel laundry machine.  Thief, if you're reading this, you know you can't wear all that as well as we can but we kinda hope you trip on it and fall into a crevass.

Of course finding good food is a huge challenge (we hope you know this but don't eat at hooters. one moment of sleep deprived decision making can easily hold "dire" consequence.).  A hearty shout out to yelp and happycow.net, both vital resources.  Our faves so far: Chattanooga has Sluggo's, (do not pass it by without a stop, you won't regret it) and South Atlanta has an amazing taqueria. Huaraches and gorditas straight from the streets of Oaxaca! Salsa bar with tons of different salsa's!  And you can also watch telenovelas.  Very entertaining after no sleep and all posters.  Now that we're staying in one city for a week we have our own kitchen.  Extended stay hotels are the best.


Does a helper team count as the meet up with another team square?  We had one of the Czech teams working with us all week.  There was a pool table conveniently located right next to our register so we had to challenge them.  USA wins!  But we could not keep up with their czech style beer consumption.  Also, the cricket that lives in our truck is named "svrchyk" thanks to them.  Now that we have a mascot I suppose we should feed it a potato.



TEAM RRRR'S OUT!

Subconscience paranoia

I had a dream last night that two other teams were raiding our truck while I was inside somewhere. I guess rumble was some where else. But when I caught the other teams I threw rocks at them, like big chuckds of balast, and pulled their hair and even shoved one girl down an embankment into a creek! I was screaming at them so loud I lost my voice. I took off with the keys from one of their trucks and was going to toss them out the window but instead gave them to the girl that woke in the back of my cab as I was driving. I dropped her off with the keys in a random parking lot not feeling to bad because I knew she had a cellphone to call her traitor team mates to pick her up. The worst part of it was that none of them cared! They didnt seem to understand the unspoken code of BTW poster sellers, we don't fuck eachother over! It was terrible!

I don't think this is a good sign that I am having dreams like this.-SheWolf of team WolfCry signing off.

Mullet

Mullets are on the bingo board? Team wild dick saw a sweet mullet on a freshman in greensboro. He had tattoos and was talking sweedish or something (quebecios?). I wanted to ask him on a date, but i don't know whatever weirdo non-english language he was speaking.

all we need now is to get stopped by DOT

My teammate reported their big accomplishment of today to be figuring out how to roll a poster with one hand while separating a credit card receipt and presenting it with a pen to the customer simultaneously.
I think we're cracking up.
I cried myself to sleep last night after attempting to assemble an air conditioner unit during which I imagined all the open mines and destoyed mountain tops left beind after the thing was made.
Someone today bought all of the stedman drawings. Minus the 2 he already owned.
But we did mange to convince BTW to pay rent to our friends instead of an insane amount of money to a hotel, so we get to come home to dinner on the stove and trips to queer dance parties. So it's not *that* bad, really. There are also cats to snuggle with.
I feel homesick. And really want to be asked on a date by a stranger.
got to be up in 7 hours. Team ryde-r-die signing off.

And I would walk 500 miles.....

Well, here we are on our own in the big world after leaving our training team. First solo sale on Monday with a sponsor who has only worked at our school for two weeks! Anyway, what we've learned in this state so far; a state fair here is a state fair there.Although some are more "old Timey" than others, they are all country. Does anyone know if a white tiger is Siberian or albino? I learned personally that even if cows are cute and it seems to make them happy, do not scratch the insides of thier ears! It's gross and smellier than the worst foot rot ever! And I learned that in the pasture/graveyard next to our hotel that was sandwiched between an applebees, a Texas steakhouse, a " gentlemans" club and another hotel. Last night and today we have been taking in the sights in the biggest city in this state. Last night, acording to a local, we walked the longest city block in the country! Is that on the bingo board? Today rumble spotted like five cicaidias! And tonight we partied at a bar with the 82nd airborn boys( and by party I mean hide in a dark corner and hope we didn't get notice. Although, one drunken airforce boy did try to seduce us by shouting "hey ladies" at us, which obviously mostly directed at rumble since he's such a pretty lady.) and last but not least, when we got "home" to our hotel we were excited to find another Ryder truck here with their team number still taped above their box! Can't wait to see them tomorrow if they don't have to run off for a sale. SheWolf of team WolfCry signing off.

Kansas is Beautiful

Team Devils on the Loose here, coming at ya from an undisclosed location in the middle of nowhere.  

I'd like to send a shoutout to our homies in Team Rawk Lawbster, for meeting up with us--helping us cross off a bingo square.  Also, special thanks to the California bro in we saw in Missouri (he had a DC logo--like, the shoe/skate company-- tattooed on the back of his neck!).  As far as roadside attractions: we saw the giant cross, who didn't?  And though we couldn't make it to the Barbed Wire Museum or the Worlds Largest Hand Dug Well, we did make it to the Brown vs. Education Historic Site (that was the Supreme Court school desegregation case).  Though, I am still unclear as to why this site is located somewhere in Kansas and not, say, I don't know--Alabama?

We all know that it can be hard to eat healthfully on the road.  With that in mind, may I suggest that if you find yourself in the midwest, you hit up Carlos O'Kelleys?  (The apostrophe in the name is a hot pepper!).  Who'd have thought of an Irish/Mexican fusion?  I give it four stars.  The mashed potatoes served with your burrito are not to be missed.  

Also-just realized that looming on the horizon is twelve hour sales (8 to 8) for nine consecutive days.  tight.

your love is my drug

So thanks to the mail room lady we got a hundred pennies today and we got to cross mullet off our board. And thanks to an episode of 'this american life' last night I can cross off 'cried myself to sleep'. I think the projections are based on teams that steal credit cards to buy up their own stock. To compensate for our failure we'll be visiting the insane asylum museum tomorrow in kansas city. It allegedly houses a display of hundreds of metal objects swallowed by a single patient. I wonder how long he did poster tour.
Team Räwk▲Läwßzter

The Price List Is A Lie

So let me ask you a question...
If your partner asked you very politely "hey! that was a dead armadillo! pull over! I've never seen an armadillo, I wanna poke it with a stick!" you would oblige them, would you not?
Because my partner did not.
Then the directions we were given tried to send us to Columbia, MS instead of Columbus, MS where our sale was.
We did, however, sell posters to a set of identical twins. Do we get bonus points since they were our sponsers?
We also sold an entire set of Wonderland themed products.
We also got asked if we were hipsters, but I don't think that's on the bingo board.
But on a jovial note, direct quote from a cop while eating the last donut out of the box... "Ya'll know cops love donuts, right?"

-Team Turbo

Circle City

I guess this is why we're having no luck with the mullet square but we won't allow Indianapolis to break our dreams of victory.

Today was a day off and we visited a subpar sculpture park along the river and saw a hipster fishing in the wild. We also found a cicada, it's real pretty.

Now we're just trying to evade the mosquitoes by smoking lots of cigarettes on the porch of our hostel.

- Team Teenage Dream

Aren't Making Projections?

It's cool just stay an extra ten hours. You might make the 5% in time to speed 500 miles without sleep to your next sale. And a tip: it takes less time to set up if you open the back of the truck then crash through the plate glass entrance of your sale location, pop the E brake, and do a 180 spewing your frames books and linticulars (lintickyoulers? err...3d bob marleys) directly into the tables.
No discount for damages. Sorry guys that's going to be the full 8.95 err...
-I <3 posters.
max is my god.

guitar hero

I'm not sure if this is a bingo square but it sure as hell aught to be.

-team wild dick

8.95

Has anybody noticed that nothing is 8.95? Nothing. Also scan "Alice with Cheshire" cat. Hilarious. Oh, yeah--is it just me or did they bump projections a little more than usual? Exception logs, WTF? Are we supposed to write down the 100 posters a day that don't scan right? You know max left because they were ripping us off and he wouldn't stand for it.
-take the $$$$$!!!!
word

First Post by Team Teenage Dream.

Sorry, it's been a long road but we've finally arrived at the blogspot.
So far we have completed a number of squares on the bingo board, here they are:
1. We sold posters to identical twins.
2. We met up with another team on the road, accidentally!
3. We sold a frat boy the Snuggles poster. He wanted a poster with puppies but was talked into Snuggles.
4. We sold a whole series, the one containing the Great Wave. Whatever. No big deal.
5. We encountered a huge roadside attraction- a cross in Effingham. It was probably 100 feet tall and we made sure not to get too close. I heard you can get pregnant from that shit.

Perhaps there are more. Our bingo card is missing at the moment.

I long for my days at the corner of Max Hurt Rd. and the Future 69 Corridor. I will return there someday.

Anyway, we're in Indianapolis for the next number of days and then we break in St. Louis where we will also visit the City Musuem (because it rules) and challenge the Pointersaurus in hopes of becoming legends. It's either that or shitting the bed.

I am so sick of Usher, we need a cable for the ipod. Shit.

Thanks Chip

huh?

we're crossing off some more squares!

At approxamately 1400 hours, team Ryderdye crossed off yet another square on our bingo board.  A college-aged woman with a slight stack of posters presented the cashier with the Princess Bride Poster.  Upon further questions, the subject had indeed READ the above mentioned book!  cha-ching.

and one of us ran into 50-year-old dykes with matching mullets at the home depo.  double cha-ching.

yipee

Team Räwk▲Läwßzter is partying in KC with Team Devils on the Loose. Kross us off, foolz.

Fun with promo!

"Do you have any posters of Audrey Hepburn wearing a VISOR?"

"ya know, we get this question all the time..."

bingo update

team wild dick reporting here. already checked off "cry myself to sleep" on the bingo list and meeting up with another team, without a name yet. i'm gonna call them team dream since they are so cute!

things are going good, except the fact that students only buy posters when top 40 is playing and not punk music.

headed to asheville tonight and looking forward to staying at the best motel in the world: the mountaineer

extra bingo boards

if anyone needs a board, comment with an address that you will be this weekend, and i'll mail ya one.  if i get them out tomorrow they will probably get to you friday or saturday. 

team ryd-er-dye is doing fantastically, waiting for the stampede of rabid college students and misery induced violence and absurdity to crash apon us.  but for now, still just hiking and swimming and feeding the bugs. 

y'all are badasses, thanks for making us laugh!!!

Vintage + Helvetica

= album cover?

Team Black Socks visits the City Museum in St. Louis

. If you are near, we highly recommend you check it out. It's open late on friday and saturday nights. Pretty sure there's a bar inside too. Give yourself several hours to check it all out.
Also, if anyone has a copy of the bingo sheet, could you post it here? we ain't got one.

Also, fuck Oklahoma. Seriously. We saw a bumper sticker on a truck that depicted Calvin wearing a cowboy hat pissing on hip hop. geez. I guess i shouldn't be too surprised that so many ignorant racist fucks think an mosque in nyc is a bad idea.

Tonight: We Sleep.

Did anyone realize how wierd television can be??? 

After watching "Extreme Pools" (where they count down the most XXXXXXXTREME pools), we finally made it to our destination..  We haven't done anything cool.

I lost my ID.
We saw a dog statue.
My partner found my ID (in my jacket pocket).

.. I need a fucking cigarette, and its only day 3.

WHAT THE FUCK


We don't have a team name yet.

I hope to get one.

Day two: team wolf cry

This is sheWolf reporting for team wolfcry. So far today, Rumble and I have stood on top of a huge dam, seen a flipped over tractor trailer, compared where we were to home, seen a lighting bolt, spotted a trash fire in downtown with a plasticbucket sitting in it and to top it off, I held a live giant praying mantis that scared the crap out of me by flying off of my hand and onto my skirt. All in a days work. SheWolf signing off.
P.S don't go to longjohn silvers

A little late but a recap of day one, plus today.

night one: chris talks to cops, chris throws up behind truck, carli makes grits, everyone sleeps...

no bingo; hella tribal tats, up and down the arms.

Alas we all are quixotic.

cross off a square for us!

Today at about 2:00 pm, Team Ryde-or-Die exposed their fleshy bits to anyone who would have cared to look, had they been around, as they jumped off a giant sycamore tree into a beautiful, clear river. Unfortunately, no cameras were the vicinity, so you'll just have to conjure an image in your brain.

Oh, and we passed another ryder truck on the highway. I don't suppose waving at 60 mph counts as "meeting up with another team"?

...

barreling through the fibrillating heartland you come across that amphetamine-driven truck stop christianity. makes me wanna join a doomsday cult. or start one.

team purple haze is heading south.

any other teams going to be in the georgia/missouri area the next few days and want to hang and drink $0.42 pint beers? we got cases of em. yes.

Example of Becoming a Legend:

Here's a video of Thomas doing a TV interview as a BTW salesdude.

Notice how he gives information out about school commissions.

This is why they tell us in training not to do TV or Radio interviews without contacting the main office.

This is what legends are made of.

Check one box off for us!

I wish I could tell you all who we are, but one of the teams (between numbers 1 and 75) has seen the smallest church in America. Please do not google the Smallest Church in America and then look at everyone's route to figure out who we are. But we have checked off our first box before we have even made one sale.

Suckers.

pumpin up at the Budget

welcome to the seedy underground of poster tour

What we have here is a place to collect and reflect on our adventure stories from poster tour fall 2010. Contribute your favorite stories, pictures, comics, one liners and other objects of existential reflection encountered on PT2010:Judgement Day. Hopefully we can look at this and the weight of our hellacious daily grind of slinging vapid posters to hopeless youth will be slightly alleviated. At least we can commiserate on our lives in the touring 11th circle of hell.

Also, post if you get a bingo. And tell us about it.